For the past month or so I’ve slowly begun to realize that I’ve lost my focus. I don’t mean that I’ve lost my focus in the sense that I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing or I’m unable to concentrate on anything. My problem, I’m finding, is that I can’t focus on just one thing at a time. Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about:
At work: I’m on the computer all day. Almost all my tasks come to me via email, which is fine; I love the efficiency of email. But I also like to multi task. Which is fine…to a point. The Firefighter and I got smart phones a few months ago, and since then, I have it sitting on my desk at work (charging most of the time, because the battery dies so often!). So, while I’m checking my work emails and beginning a project, I often also have my phone in my hand, checking Facebook or texting or reading home emails. And I’m doing all this while I’m answering the phone and trying to do paperwork. Not the optimal attention to detail that my job- or really any job- requires.
At home: We have a laptop with a wireless connection, which is fantastic. I can’t imagine being tied to a desktop computer any more. But having a laptop means it can be used in any room at any time. This usually translates to being used in the living room, where the TV is often on. And the Firefighter is often found. Mix all this together and you get the perfect storm: distracted television watching, conversation that lacks depth, quality, or even interest, which leads to frustration by one or both parties.
Anywhere where there’s lots of people: Whenever I’m in a group of people that I know, I always want to visit with everyone. With my newly discovered focus problem, this often leads to broken conversations, incoherent responses, frustration for the speaker and the listener, disappointment on the speaker’s part because I’m not 100% committed to the present conversation, and ultimately, a less-than-fulfilling visit with someone.
I can’t devote my entire attention to anything when I’m trying to do a little bit of everything.
And so, as the old school paper writing lessons say, identify the problem and develop strategies to address it.
I’ve identified the problem quite readily. The strategy? Sharpen my focus. When I’m at work, focus on the task at hand. If I get a text message, wait until I’m at a good stopping point to respond- and even read!- it. When I’m at home, make the Firefighter my priority for all things conversational and attention-taking. Put the laptop away if we’re watching TV together. Shut the TV off if I’m home already when he gets home. When I’m in social settings, show the person I’m talking with that he/she and what he/she has to say really is important to me- and listen. Don’t try to catch someone else’s eye because I need to talk to them, too. Don’t try to listen to another conversation while I’m trying to carry on my own (I can’t imagine I’d EVER do that….). In essence, be present in the present. Completely.
This is my goal, starting today. Can I do it? Yes…if I give the situation my full attention.
